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Senior Woman
October 28, 2024

Have an Enjoyable and Successful Visit with Loved Ones Who are in Residential Alzheimer’s Care

Alzheimer's
The Senior Care Experts at Ecumenical Retirement Community

Visiting a loved one who is in a residential dementia, memory, or Alzheimer’s care support program can be really difficult. Your loved one is and yet is not the person they always were. It’s like looking through a stained-glass window instead of a clear glass window. What’s on the other side is exactly the same, but viewed through stained glass the colors, contrasts and clarity are very different. But it’s still beautiful.

Despite the reality that your loved one isn’t as clearly who they were, they are still here, just on the other side of that window. Connecting with them during visits is possible, but will take some creative approaches and lots of patience.

Here are a few tips for planning your visit and communicating and engaging with your loved one during your visit.

The Best Time of Day to Visit a Loved One in Alzheimer’s Care

For you and your loved one to enjoy your time together as much as possible, it’s important to plan your visit for a good day, and time, for both of you. In order to do that you need to know your loved one’s schedule.

Talk to the staff who support your loved one in the Alzheimer’s care program. Find out about meal times, planned activities or excursions and any standing therapies or medical appointments. This information will help you find a time that works for you, and doesn’t interrupt the daily routine of your loved one.

Routine is vitally important to people with Alzheimer’s or other memory issues. A good residential Alzheimer’s care program will provide an environment of familiar routines and activities, which is both comfortable and calming. For instance, your loved one may be part of an after-breakfast walking group three days a week. At Ecumenical Retirement Community, residents in Alzheimer’s care can choose to start their day with a morning meeting, part of the Connections Club that offers emotional support and encourages socialization.

Whatever your loved one’s daily routine is, you want to be a welcome part of it, and working around their schedule will help with that.

There may be a time of day when your loved one is generally at their best, and that time may be a surprise. Your night owl mom may now be an early riser who loves to greet day staff as they come in to work.

Some people with dementia can become agitated or anxious in the late afternoon or early evening, a condition called “sundown syndrome.” If you notice that dusk or late afternoons are hard for your loved one, try to switch to another time of day where the sun is still bright in the sky.

The Validation Method: How to Best Communicate with Your Loved One

The Validation Method, which our staff who work in the Alzheimer’s care program are trained in, is a person focused way of communicating with someone who has dementia. The purpose is to reduce anxiety and resolve any worries that may keep a loved one in Alzheimer’s care from enjoying social interactions.

Validation puts each unique, worthwhile, senior at the center of the interaction. The concept is that rather than trying to bring the person with memory loss back into our reality, it’s better to enter their reality.

There are 11 principles to the Validation Method, first developed by Naomi Feil in the late 70s and early 80s. At the core of the method is accepting your loved one as they are, and to engage in active, empathetic, listening which builds trust, reduces anxiety and restores dignity.

Questions that ask “who,” “what,” “when” or “where” help you enter their world and understand their emotions. Some of those emotions may be frustration or sadness, but the ability to express emotion and be heard and accepted helps everyone one, including people with dementia.

Body language and tone of voice are also important when communicating with a person who is in Alzheimer’s care. A relaxed presence and a calm, pleasant, clear tone of voice go a long way towards easing communication. So does eye contact, and facial expressions that appropriately express what you are trying to convey. Hold your loved one’s hand if they seem to enjoy it. Talk about good news and share fond memories, which are both comforting and a good way to connect.

Also, don’t forget humor! Everybody enjoys a good laugh, including many people with dementia.

Enjoying Your Time with Your Loved One

There are lots of ways to really enjoy your visit with a loved one who’s in a residential Alzheimer’s care community. Start by setting aside your expectations and adapt activities to meet your loved one where they’re at when you visit.

Try to do something that’s fun for both of you. Taking a walk, working on a puzzle or a craft that connects with hobbies you’ve both enjoyed in the past, or even putting on some music and singing and dancing along could be a great way to spend time together.

If you aren’t sure about an activity, ask the staff for some guidance. At Ecumenical Retirement Community, personalized care is key, and that means knowing if a community member enjoys interacting with dolls or stuffed animals, or gardening, or playing with the interactive Tover Table.

Whenever you visit, and whatever you do, know that this time together can be valuable and gratifying for both of you – even if you just sit together and look out a window.

Senior Living at Ecumenical Retirement Community

Ecumenical provides families with multiple living options including independent living, personal care and memory care for people who need Alzheimer’s care.

Our monthly rentals include apartment living and meals. Apartment options include private accommodations and friendship suites which offer a shared living arrangement that provides instant companionship and a lower monthly rate. Special mixed-care plans help couples stay together while providing the care each needs.

Our campus expert advisors are available any day of the week to review care options. Schedule a tour or speak to one of our helpful senior care advisors today.

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